Judah and Tamar Study

The story begins as we consider Judah and Tamar.

Have you seen our introductory discourse on the Tamar Bible Story?

Tamar wondered why she had never seen her groom-to be (Er) in any of the annual sheep-shearing sessions in Timnath…which tends to leave exciting memories on the participants!

Fathers delight in showcasing the physical prowess possessed by their sons… especially their eldest sons.

Had Er had ever set eyes on her? Why did Judah consider her as being suitable for his first son as a wife? A part of Tamar jumped for joy at the thought of being married into a Jewish family, having heard so much about their God. One God who has many conquests to His name, unlike the gods of her father’s house.

Indeed, the bride-to-be was optimistic. She smiled secretly. However, these many questions bugged her mind. All attempts by Rizpah to make Tamar relax were not entirely successful. She grew leaner, as the day wore on. Obviously, she was worried. However, hope was Tamar’s only currency!

Nonetheless, Zared was least perturbed as he set about making the necessary customary rites ready for Judah to perform in a few days!

Expectedly, he arrived in Timnath, in the company of 2 men.

However, Er was absent !

Everything seemed to be happening too quickly…Tamar’s eyes were moist, with tears of uncertainty and anxiety, (as you might assume).

Tamar an unsure bride made her way into the living room to greet her prospective father-in-law (Judah), kneeling courteously before him.

Judah looked over the little damsel, as though he needed a more sure word of confirmation! He reached out his hands to take hers.

Tamar’s heart skipped by a beat as she felt the resultant trembling effect on her hands!
It was as though her quivering lips was her subtle way of relief. Although, she had peace of heart and faith in her prospective father-in-law and his renowned ‘God’.

Nevertheless, she felt a tinge of uneasiness, one which occasional stares from Zared, her father could not erase.

Could the object of her worry be her prospective husband, Er? Her mind raced through different thoughts, trying to fathom the reason for Er’s absence.

Was he too busy to even perform the marital rites necessary to take home, his bride? Tamar was unsure of her journey as his bride.

Tamar meets her father-in-law: Judah

Apparently, Judah was able to discern her thoughts. Therefore, he spoke gently to her, with soothing words that suggested rest. The young maiden was released to go to her chambers, whilst the Elders sealed up the marital process.

For the first time in many weeks, Judah felt unsure of the marriage between Er and Tamar, as he felt a cold air of doubt surging up within.

Er was uncaring, quick-tempered and presumptuous. Tamar, on the other hand, was fragile and soft-spoken. Would she soften Er? Tamar’s fragility could not be over-emphasized.
Would Er break her? It seemed an imperfect combination, but he had so much belief in Tamar.

Judah had no daughter, but one look at this blooming girl (Tamar)made his heart beat in a regular succession! He couldn’t have wished for a better daughter-in-law, Oh no!

Whilst Judah ruminated over these things, Zared thought it wise to talk some sense into the frenzied bride-to be, whom he believed, should have transitioned somewhat mechanically in her thought patterns on the marriage issue.

He cast a cursory gaze at Sabre, who interpreted it to mean that her pre-marital sessions with her daughter had not been thorough!

Tamar stared blankly at her father, trying to absorb so much in a little time! Sabre had a hard time trying to instill into her; the basic tenets of wifely conduct in marriage, especially before her in-laws.

However, this session was interrupted by stomps of Zilpah’s feet, (Tamar’s nurse) who came to report the progress made from an all-night session of packing and unpacking…Now, all was in readiness!

It was time to go! The goodbyes were quick. Interestingly, Tamar didn’t shed a tear, or she probably wept in her heart as they set out along the lonely parts in the company of her father-in-law and Zilpah.

They journeyed all the way to Kezib. Tamar was indeed unsure of her fate as Er’s bride!

Judah secretly thanked God that heart rhythms were externally noiseless, for he could feel his heart beat heavily, closely resonating with the stomps on his feet, as they journeyed home.

It was almost the same way he took a bold but drastic step to Adullam many years ago, where he married his Canaanite bride, Shua, in the company of his friend, Hirah. They were so much in love, but now, their marriage wine seemed to have transitioned, from sour wine to gall fluid, exhibiting a real bitter taste.

He always cherished his moments, away from home, where he could relish the ambiance of peace, being quite a meditative fellow!

Twelve years had passed since Joseph (his step-brother) was sold into slavery. He was somewhat grateful he was able to rescue Joseph from the throes of death.

Simeon and Levi were the worst culprits on that fateful day, always too instant to kill, spitting bitter words like bile, as they were bent on getting rid of Joseph.
Judah’s guilt over what they did to Joseph plagued him daily. Their Father suffered daily, refused comfort, for a very long time. Little wonder, Judah left home shortly (for Adullam), to find solace in the bosom of this woman, Shua.

Probably, Shua agreed readily to marry him, out of self-pity, and most likely because, she needed protection, as a Canaanite.

Tamar marries Er (Judah’s family)

They were home. Tamar felt the atmosphere therein but was unsure of its reality. The swaying of feeble trees in the well-spaced and adequately ventilated compound was not enough to neutralize this uncanny feeling surging up within her.

A consistently grinding sound audibly heard from the background apparently came to an abrupt end. Simultaneously. Judah and Tamar seemed to have slowed their steps A woman in her late forties made her way through the rather enveloping darkness along the passage-way.

Tamar could link her uneasy feeling to the presence of this woman. Her facial expression was not very pleasant, as she stood with arms akimbo.

Effortlessly, she adjusted the neckline of her scarcely flowery gown, as though she wanted to observe something more closely.

Shua asked a rather sarcastic question, one which made Tamar feel very inadequate and less petite than she was already. One which questioned her capability at womanhood, raising up children for her husband Er, who was sadly out of the picture!

Where had her Er had gone to?

Tamar felt too unsure and ashamed to ask after her husband. Her Mother-in-law scanned through her physique repeatedly.

Apparently, there was no word of courtesy, due her husband, Judah who had just arrived from a trip.

Tamar assumed the result of her Mother-in-law’s assessment might as well determine her fate in this home.

The new bride felt very unwelcome, but she reminded herself of her resolve: to make her husband proud and happy, and win him to her side!

While the drama was still on-going, Er came home.

He strolled towards his Mother, without casting a second look at his father.

The handsome lad in his late twenties made an abrupt stop, and looked on Tamar in a like manner as his mother had done, and let out a wry smile! much more indicative of a sneer.

Almost immediately, he let out a hearty but uneasy laugh, this time looking at his father in a manner that suggested the absurdity of what he had done in the name of marriage.

Tamar’s attempt to smile back at him was dampened as she felt her every wall of defense crashing right before her!

Was this marriage?
How would she cope with such a man who had little or no regard for her?

What can you learn from Judah and Tamar story?

To be continued…

What does the Story of Tamar and Judah teach us?

Are there times when you cry in despair over situations you were convinced about God’s clear direction? What do you do under the circumstances?

Having left family and friends to a marriage with a non-chalant and insensitive man…Hope was truly her solace How much more, when God leads us…